Frustrations Galore

This last week and a half has been very trying in the patience department. Last Tuesday was the sitter's first day. I did as I'd planned and stayed away on my first day back only making one phone call to check in on Little B. I figured this would make the transition a little easier - not spending all day checking in on him. Daddy B said everything was fine when he came home and that she stuck around for a bit just chatting. But, come Wednesday she cancelled stating she was sick and it was probably a 24 hour bug. Thursday was Daddy B's day to have him anyways so it wasn't an issue. But, come Friday morning I'd hardly got to work (due to running late - imagine that!) before Daddy B called asking where the sitter was. I told him to call and check and then call me back to update me. Apparently, we missed a message on our home phone from the previous night which stated that she was still sick and wouldn't be in. Her husband told Daddy B that she would call later that day or the next to check in with us. No call came until Sunday. And even then there was no message left (we were hosting a baby shower for a friend). We went to dinner with The K family to discuss our thoughts on the situation. Daddy K and I felt the same way - not only had she cancelled 3 of 5 meetings (she was sick for her first interview so we rescheduled not knowing at the time it'd be a trend) - but it was perturbing that her husband called every time instead of her. We decided to let her go because we were no longer comfortable with the situation. But, before we got the chance to fire her, I received a text message where she said she was in the Indy hospital having tests run and that it wasn't just the flu and she wouldn't be able to work for us anymore. Then she asked that we send her $25 to her home address. Tacky! I was the only one who said that she had earned the money and would be sending it - everyone else felt she didn't deserve it.

So, we were back to square one and Momma K then had to take Little B on Tuesday and Wednesday because I didn't have a backup sitter. Granddaddy B drove up four hours on Friday just to babysit for Little B! I doubt many kids are so blessed to have grandparents drive so far just to stay with them for a day on last minute notice. After extensive discussions, Daddy B and I decided that it wasn't fair to Little B or his buddy Little J to quickly hire someone because we didn't have any good leads. So, we altered our original plan. We met with a sitter who runs a daycare in her home but only has six to seven kids. We have friend's whose son goes there and I had two kids on my caseload that were adopted by a wonderful family who sends the girls there now as well. Both of these families have high standards so I was fairly certain that it'd be a good place for Little B. Our meeting went well - it lasted almost 2 hours! - so Little B will begin on Tuesday. He will stay at home with Daddy B on Mondays and Thursdays and go to daycare on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. When Momma K goes back to work, she will take Little B on Fridays. We are very excited about the arrangement. I did end up changing my work schedule back to a 5 day since her hours are until 6 pm. My supervisor offered to keep me at a 4 day and I could come in at 7:15 so I could leave at 5:45 but I chose to revert because Little B seems to be going to bed earlier and I'm missing out on a lot of time with him. I know it'll be hard come Monday to have a 5 day week but I am excited about getting off by 4 instead of 6. Of course, I'll still have days with appointments where I'll work over and then I'll have to adjust my time so I'm sure I'll have a lot of weeks with only working a half day on Friday. And, if I end up hating the schedule, I can switch come May 1 and start working a 4 day again with the adjusted hours. It's definitely a learning game with Little B and his schedule and how it makes me want to fit in my work hours.

My other frustration comes from those work hours. Yesterday, I had to deal with an emergency for someone because they were out of the office. A foster parent had decided they no longer wanted to provide care for the child because he was "threatening them" and being "defiant." Now, I'll be the first to tell you that teenagers are difficult to deal with. However, this foster parent is lucky I was able to keep my mouth shut in front of her because her attitude was extremely ridiculous! She came in and when I asked both of them to come into a meeting room she got huffy with me and said she didn't understand why she needed to be there. The entire time I asked questions, she was anxious to leave. When I got fed up with her attitude and didn't think I could've felt more sorry for the child who was sitting on a little chair against the wall with his head down, she made sure to show me that my sorrow for that child could increase a great deal. I walked her out of the room and shut the door. I asked her how he had threatened her and she said all verbally. She said he'd been a problem since day one and she wasn't used to having to deal with a kid like that because her child "is going to be a chemical engineer" which was stated as she picked up her sweatshirt and thrusts it outwards to show where they went to college. Are you kidding me?! Just because your child goes to a reputable school does not make you (or him) a better person in my eyes. In fact, when you make a point to state you're not used to dealing with a problem child because your child is so great, it makes me loathe you for your high and mighty attitude. Not every child is blessed to receive the same advantages other children are afforded. This child did not receive those advantages and sure, he has a rough go of it and has behavior issues because of this, but that doesn't make him a problem child or a bad kid as you're trying to act like he is. This irritating woman left happy and almost skipping to her car. She didn't tell the child that he wouldn't be coming home with her and would be placed in residential treatment and worse, she didn't say goodbye. It saddens me that there are people like this that deal with our youth. Our youth deserve better. They are responsible for their actions but we as adults need to show them the way with grace and a loving hand.

Ironically, Daddy B and I went on a date tonight to see The Blind Side which came at a perfect time to remind me that this is why I got into social work. That foster parent made all the difference in that child's life. As did the teachers and coaches and his siblings. If we only give our children a chance to prove themselves, their greatness will emerge and they will soar. I only hope I can instill these values in Little B. I think we have forgotten that our children hold the key to making us the best adults that we can be and that together, we can all make the world a better place. We just have to be willing to listen to each other and most importantly, be respectful and loving along the way.

And a frustration that has disappeared? I produced 10 more ounces than what Little B drank today. Given, he drank five-nine less ounces than he has in the last week, but that is the first time in four weeks that I've even produced what he's needed. I'm so excited! I've worked hard (and will need to continue to do so) and it's finally paid off! Breastfeeding (by way of pumping) is extremely hard work and I'm so proud that I'm able to do this for my son.

Little B's growing like a weed and I know this is partially due to my hard work with pumping. He's still learning new things all the time and working hard to stay ahead of the curve. In the last couple of days, he's begun rolling himself onto his side so hard that he's *almost* rolled over. I really hope he does this for the first time when I'm with him! I've been working pretty hard with him on this during the evening by rolling him onto his tummy and then pushing just hard enough that his momentum swings him back so that he can grasp the concept of rolling. We shall see when this milestone occurs...I love watching his developments changing all the time! He's such a cool little person and it's amazing looking into his little face and seeing Daddy B and I reflected back. I look forward to his personality coming out more and more as the months pass.