I'm really behind on watching I'm Having Their Baby. I just watched the episode about Mary/Claudia. The social worker at Bethany for Mary is so upsetting because she acts appalled and indignant that Mary changed her mind about the first family. Do I agree with Mary's reasons for changing her mind? No, not completely. But that's not my place to judge because I am not her! How can you call yourself a professional and treat/talk about someone like that? Secondly, when she says she's going to keep him, there's no reason for the social worker to speak about informing the adoptive parents. Obviously that needs done, but I feel that was only said to make Mary feel bad. Much luck to Mary as she continues on to raise her son! I hope that by watching this back, the social worker sees how she went wrong and pressured this woman into placing and pigeonholing her with needing to stick with her decision and not waiver at all. That's not real life. Everyone has feelings and emotions even if it's not in regards to changing their mind.
None of what I've said about Mary's situation decreases the fact that I'm still 100% confident in my decision to place Eden for adoption. It was absolutely the right decision for her and even myself at that time. Do I have days where that decision pains me in one way or another? Absolutely. That loss doesn't disappear as the years go by. But my reasons for placement were sound and the family she has is exactly what she needs (and even what I've needed over the years as we navigate this path).
On the other hand, there's the episode about Amanda and Mariah. The adoptive parents and birthmoms do a beautiful job of illustrating many of the feelings that I have and how Amanda and John were so loving, kind and considerate throughout the process especially at the hospital. This is how adoption was meant to be. The social worker in the episode with Mariah did a beautiful job of not being pushy and being considerate and thoughtful throughout the process. She was real and honest with her. It is the honesty that allows for these beautiful relationships to be forged and for birthmothers to begin to have some healing and the supports they need to find a new normal with life. I was blessed that I knew what I want, found the perfect family for our daughter and that because of that, our agency didn't have much involvement. It allowed for Amanda, John and I to forge a relationship separate from them and express ourselves with that open honesty that is so necessary to our relationship today.
On the other hand, there's the episode about Amanda and Mariah. The adoptive parents and birthmoms do a beautiful job of illustrating many of the feelings that I have and how Amanda and John were so loving, kind and considerate throughout the process especially at the hospital. This is how adoption was meant to be. The social worker in the episode with Mariah did a beautiful job of not being pushy and being considerate and thoughtful throughout the process. She was real and honest with her. It is the honesty that allows for these beautiful relationships to be forged and for birthmothers to begin to have some healing and the supports they need to find a new normal with life. I was blessed that I knew what I want, found the perfect family for our daughter and that because of that, our agency didn't have much involvement. It allowed for Amanda, John and I to forge a relationship separate from them and express ourselves with that open honesty that is so necessary to our relationship today.
Big E, I will love you forever and always. You were and always will be my firstborn and I will never forget the joy of becoming a mother when I had you. Your mom is an amazingly strong and loving woman whom I admire in so many ways, but especially in her love and compassion for others. Your dad is an amazingly selfless man who's character reflects his heart and passion. You are exactly where you were meant to be.
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