Please Stop and Sleep Already!

I need real time friends who are the only person who can put their child to bed at night. Mothers or fathers who take 30 minutes to an hour every night (plus naps!) to put them down. Daddy B and I used to switch off but we cannot do that anymore because Little B physically hurts himself. 99.9% of nights I can do this. After lack of sleep and being sick, it's tough.

I know there are those critics who don't have kids or who are blessed with old sleepers that would say let him cry it out, make your husband do it and he will adapt, toughen up and be a parent. I'm telling you though, if he even thinks I'm in the house, he won't allow it. And it's not really feasible to leave every night.

It's hard. And I feel very alone in this battle. Daddy B does his best to be supportive and does a great job at it, but the fact remains I have to do this every night. If it was 6:7 nights it wouldn't feel like a burden. If I didn't get tired or fall asleep waiting for him to, it wouldn't be bad. But, those things happen which affects my work. Honestly, it affects our marriage because we don't get time together either. Other parents don't understand. I am fearful of having another child because I don't know that we can go through this not sleeping and night rage like we do again. 

This is why there have been only one updates in months. I don't have the time or energy to do them because I spend so much time to get my child to sleep. 


I know that people in our lives think they could do better. I know that they think that it isn't as bad as what I say it is.  But, after months of being the sole night caregiver and years of a child who wakes up, I don't know that they'd feel the same day in and day out.

This surgery had better help his sleep because I don't know how we will make it to three if things don't change. I know that's overdramatic because we made it to one and two feeling hopeless in the sleep department. I'm glad we didn't do cry it out because he had sleep apnea. He needed us. I know he's still recovering from surgery and being sick. I love that little man with all my heart. But parenting is hard and these are the cold, honest facts about how I'm feeling with this process. Parenting is hard and it is even harder with a child who has sleeping issues to this degree.